How's your lamp shining?

John 1:6-8 HNV "There came a man, sent from God, whose name was Yochanan [John}. The same came as a witness, that he might testify about the light, that all might believe through him.  He was not the light, but was sent that he might testify about the light."

We are sent from God as a witness that we might testify about the light, that all might believe through us.  Wow!  What an impact that scripture has made on me.  I, like Yochanan [John] am a lamp that shines the Light [Christ].  So … I have to stop and ask, how am I doing?  How well is my lamp reflecting the light of Christ?  Are others believing because of how I am living my life? my choices? my actions? my love for self? my love for others? my ability to forgive myself? to forgive others? 

What type of lamp light was I created to be?  What type of lamp light am I actually being?  

Here are just a few that have come to mind:

A light controlled by a switch - either fully on or fully off.  

A dimmer light - Either fully off or when on, on at varying degrees of brightness from barely there to full on bright or somewhere in between.  

A hazard flashing light - Only used when there is a problem.

A blinker - on one moment and off the next.  Only used when making a deviation from the path and even then not always being turned on when deviating and making a direction change.

A headlight - If old style - only on when turned on at night (in today's times that's if one remembers to turn it on or someone warns and flashes that we are proceeding without light).  If modern style then we are on all of the time but still primary use is during the night or stormy times to light the way  immediately in front of us on our journey.  We can be low density (which many drive using all the time instead of using the high density bright lights and having to remember to "dim" our headlights when others are approaching.) or high density bright beam lights. 

Christmas lights - All pretty and colorful, either solid or twinkling with part of us on at all times for the season; however once the season is over we are packed away for all the other seasons until our one season comes around again.  

A lighthouse - Shining 24/7 for others to help navigate, giving direction and keeping their paths focused on God, aware of and avoiding snares/traps/dangers.   There for all to use and giving 100% even though you may never know those that were directed by the light that shined through you.  

A search light - Radiant light that pierces the sky to be seen for miles and miles to draw others to come and find out what is the big deal.  We aren't the big deal but our lives reflecting His goodness and greatness through us draw others near so that they can come and meet Him for themselves receiving His salvation,  focusing on Him, believing Him, knowing Him, loving Him, walking with Him, partaking in His fullness.  He is the BIG DEAL.   

I also must ask myself, am I tending my lamp properly and to my best ability?  Am I keeping it in good operational shape - trimming the wick, keeping the oil full, prepared to be lit as He beacons?  Or am I busy running after other things or world busyness that I am too tired or distracted to make sure I am fulfilling the reason I was sent. Am I living such that anyone would see Christ in and through me and choose to believe in Him?  Am I drawing others to Christ or am I part of the attack of the busyness to distract and keep them away from Him?  No matter what, when you stop and look at it, you are either living so others can believe because of you OR you are living so that others are in unbelief and lost.  You're either for or against, there's no fence riding.  What an amazing love and confidence Christ has in us to give us such an impact on all His precious children young and old.  

Honestly, my life in and love for Christ has grown so much during my years; however I can see myself in each of the different types of lights.  I have had to stop, repent and ask His forgiveness for not living up to my best at the different stages of my life.  In this new awareness I strive to live more fully reflecting Him through me so others are not delayed in their belief because of me and my action or lack of action.  I am exhilarated with the simple understanding that I am here to be a lamp testifying of His light so others may come to Him and know Him.  As easy and simplistic as that is, I find myself knowing that every time i achieve my best He will then give me more wisdom and knowledge that will always keep me reaching and obtaining new levels of best in Him.  He will always keep leading me on in great anticipation of new levels of awe all my days as His lamp on this Earth.   I must keep Christ perspective that obtaining our best is a great thing and opens us up to continual new levels of best.  And if I stumble, then I must get up, repent, learn and keep moving forward and upward.   I must make a point to not adopt the world's perspective that we're never good enough no matter how hard we try, that our best just means failure as more is always expected.  For me, it is an awesome promise that He always has more for me so that in my pursuit of knowing Him I will never tire nor reach an end.  I am only limited by what I myself limit myself.  Hmm, to totally understand that fully - that I am the only thing holding me back.    With Him the possibilities and expansion is unlimited!  Thank you God!!  

Reconciled or Unreconciled?

Our Foreign Ambassador assignment or job description while we are serving here on Earth:

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

Definition from Freedictionary.com:

rec·on·cile  (rkn-sl) v. rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing, rec·on·ciles v.tr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship between. 2. To settle or resolve. 3. To bring (oneself) to accept: He finally reconciled himself to the change in management. 4. To make compatible or consistent: reconcile my way of thinking with yours. See Synonyms at adapt. v.intr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship, as in marriage: The estranged couple reconciled after a year. 2. To become compatible or consistent: The figures would not reconcile.

For us to be able to walk out this assignment, we need to make sure that we are walking reconciled with God so that we can, through our daily walk/life, witness to others on how to be reconciled through our actions and not just our words. Once we are walking in a close relationship with God our lives will speak for us and reflect His love to others especially those that are hurting and distanced from God. For others to know that God is capable of forgiving them and being in relationship with them they need to see that we are able to ask God for forgiveness AND forgive ourselves and others, repent - walking out the consequences of righting the relationship and leave it in the past as forgotten and paid in full by the blood of Christ.

So, in preparation for your final job evaluation, take time now and do a personal review. Are you reconciled or unreconciled?  

Insight Hut #123 - What Does Grieving My Mom Your way Lord look life for me?

Today the journey started with healing ministry class at Faith Life Church with Brother Joey Woodward beginning a new teaching on "Hope in God".  Just another fine example that God leads you and gives you the insight teaching He desires to expand in you when you listen and say "Yes" to Him -- even when you don't know what you're fully saying "Yes" too!  It's always, always worth the step of faith to say "Yes".  He's never lead me wrong yet and always gets me out of or through challenges I get myself in to if I lose focus and wander a bit.  I will possibly share more about Brother Joey's teaching - however for clip notes, it covered Colossians 1 entirely and Romans 15:13 and concluded with he and his lovely wife praying with me as God brings this next season of His retreat and healing refuge from a thought (that he gave to Malachi when he was about 2 yrs old and Randy and I about that same time frame too) to a BE.  After the teaching we were speaking and I shared my quest for grieving my mom His Way and my struggle of what that looked like, Brother Joey spoke the word O death where is they sting.  I Cor 15:55.  It rang affirmative with my spirit … there was no sting in my mom's death.

So, after a refreshing rest this afternoon, I now find myself lead to Insight Hut #123.  And lead I was.  There are so many to pick from but every time I tried to settle for another Hut He prodded me on to receive His best or fullness of Insight Hut #123.  As I come up to it I can tell its not been used often.  The leaves are built up more than any of the others.  The table is covered with debris and dust webs from lack of use.  There are at least 10 other Insight Huts in view yet this one stands very much alone.  The trees are mostly young saplings with some mature but not predominant trees.  (Represents those stuck in grief mode?)

It would appear that grieving is a time or season you do alone, possibly in proximity of others grieving but each person is unique in its journey so thus alone.  You can take heart that others have been here before you and may be on the journey now so even though you're alone, you're not truly alone or abandoned.  You can walk your individual journey along side others who are walking their own personal journey.  Just keep your eyes and focus on your journey and don't compare to anyone else's!  Otherwise you might get lost in the journey of grief and stay longer than you should or need or even worse, plant your roots and remain the rest of your earthly days.

The many saplings speak a time of tenderness and newness to me.  This is a new season of life, a new start.  In the case for me its a new season …. of living as His Ambassador in this foreign land without my physical mentor, my nurturer, my comforter … my precious mother.  She's been there for me since before my first breath.  She loved me from the moment she knew God was creating me inside of her.  Okay, her thoughts and words might not have been so loving and kind when she though I was a violent flu; however as soon as she knew it wasn't the flu and wouldn't pass but be in her life for the rest of her life … SHE LOVED ME!!!  What insight and revelation of God's love to me.  Except we went from 1) being His thought to 2) BEing and there was no ill thought of flu, discomfort of sickness, no dread, no icky (technical term) feeling … just pure love, joy and delight at His creation.  Wow!  And I've been honored to be a mom and experience that intimacy of love.  Thank you God, I'm so humbled and will strive more to love fuller my family and those you bring to us to love.

So here I am again … What does grieving my mom Your way Lord look like for me?  I want to get it done and launch fully whole into this new season.  Just like my mom, I chase after Him seeking to please Him and honor Him.

So … if in doubt, look up the definition to identify or define according to some dictionary what the baseline or meaning of the word is -- it even gives you different tenses i.e. noun, verb, past, present, transferal? (I think I missed English that day!)

GRIEF:  to cause great distress or sorrow.

SORROW:  a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain.

So … here I sit pondering those definitions.  "SORROW: a feeling of deep distress caused by loss ..."  Hmmm, I didn't lose my mom.  I know where she is.  She fulfilled her assignment in this foreign land and was able to return home to hear "Well Done".  "… disappointment …" my mom's life was anything but a disappointment.  Her life walk inspired all (even sometimes when I fathered it didn't).  I experienced moments of sadness while she was till alive when I looked at the challenges of life she lived in, the abuse, the neglect, the sacrifices … but wait!  There's more!!! (And no extra shipping charge either!  God already took care of that fee.)  The Lord brought to mind we either receive our rewards and treasures here on Earth OR we store up eternal rewards and treasures in Heaven.  My mom so got that and choose an eternity of rewards and treasures rather than Earthly ones that break, have be be cleaned, replaced, moved, etc.  "… or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others."  Suffered - yeah she went through some intense pain in the flesh in the final month but her sweetness remained and she endured for  His gain praising Him through the pain and tears.  If you read her obituary then you know her passing had no part of suffering or distress and honestly -- it was so sweet and anointed it brought great joy to both Randy and I that we were witness to her eyes being opened to the Heavens and her pure vocal response in seeing her Savior and Lord, her Comforter, her Provider, her Lover and the wealth of rewards and treasures she honestly in her humility had no clue were awaiting her.

Randy and I were so humbled that He loved us and let us witness it.  That I got to hold her and kiss her goodbye as she prayed / conversed with God in a language only He understands then sang her way into Heaven while I held her physical body that housed her spirit until He received her spirit in His arms with the ultimate, long awaited hug from One who was dearer to her than any other.  No greater love have I witnessed or felt.  Even now these tears I'm shedding are tears of thanksgiving, of being so humbled that He allowed me, little (okay maybe not so much presently) ole me to hold her and hand her over to Him.  The One i know and trust.  The One who loves my mom even more than I.  Suffering or distress?  Absolutely NOT!  It was like receiving top honor or recognition … and I was just being who He created me to be, loving as He poured in to me, tending, serving the mentor He purposefully chose for me.

"DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety …" …. Nope!  We knew where she was going and it's far better than any taste of Heaven she may or may not have had on this Earth.  "…sorrow…" -- Are you kidding me?  Sorrow would have been her being stuck here after her assignment was done.  "… pain." -- We, from our first breath of birth, are guaranteed achieving at least one goal in life and that's death.  We all will accomplish it, the journey on the way is up to us and how well we live out our days on Earth.  So I  knew it was a definite goal and my mom would strive to succeed at it giving Him her absolute best -- which she did.  The only pain I've really experienced is right now and its the chill as the temperature drops and I sit outside writing this wishing I had a blanket or warm fire … but that's not grief related.

So again, I look at the definitions of grief -- the World's definitions.  They don't apply in this situation.  I know my mom and I are just His Foreign Ambassadors doing our assignment here so we can go home. This is just temporary.  I was blessed with a lifetime of her love, mentoring, nurturing, comforting me, encouraging, praying and speaking into my family - my amazing husband and awesome sons - as well as all the spiritual children and people He brought into our lives.  I was given an amazing gift of a little over 22 months to love on, honor and give back to my mom before she completed her assignment.  I played games with my mom, laughed with my mom, cried tears of joy and sorrow, prayed, prayed … and prayed with my mom .  I got to share new levels of light He imparted to me because of the high mantle she achieved and launched me from.  She lead as Jesus lead -- from behind, encouraging, supporting and launching me to be able to do all she knew and could do and even more.  She praised with me and celebrated all God has, is and has yet planned to do in our lives and ministry.  She lived through me.  She dreamed with me.  She laughed with me.  She praised Him with me.  She prayed WITH and FOR me.  I chose to honor her and celebrate her life while she was still living it.  We laughed together.  God allowed me to speak into my mom and right wrong perceptions or false truths that she was under.  We loved together.  We laughter together.  We praised together.  We laughed together.  We prayed together.  We laughter together.  His Joy was not a stranger to us.

When Holy Spirit opened my eyes that my mom had no clue the impact she had on this Earth for His Kingdom -- I began a purposeful celebration of her life by requesting friends and family to express the way my mom impacted their lives.  When the emails, cards, letters, Facebook comments began to come in, we would read them.  She looked at me and asked where all this was coming from and why.  With all the love in my heart I told her that I firmly believed she would benefit more by celebrating and acknowledging the impact she has and had on people's lives  while she was still alive rather than after she was dead.  She laughingly agreed with me.  I firmly believed in Celebrating her while she was with us and could enjoy it and laugh with us rather than later when frankly, she wouldn't care and it wouldn't matter to her.  Sooooo …. CELEBRATE mom we did.  Even during her two days of silent resting in preparation for her end of assignment promotion Holy Spirit lead me to speak all the appreciation and thankfulness for all the things He brought to mind that my mom did.  I had 48 hours of speaking into my mom's spirit and was blessed beyond blessed and could have continued on if time allowed as there was still far more she did but … the eternal rewards and treasures covered the rest.

So,  I'm finding myself thinking there is nothing to grieve.  I have no regrets or uncompleted issues with my mom.  She lives on in and through me.  She is a part of me, my husband and my sons and that is to be celebrated and praised.  I may experience moments of homesickness - but I did that while I was growing up when we were apart and we were always reunited which we will be this time too.  I am choosing to praise and celebrate my mom and laugh with her even while she is at Home waiting for me to get there.

My mom dreamed and prayed with me as God revealed to us His plans of having us steward His yet to come retreat and healing refuge.  I feel my mom's completing her assignment and going Home was/is a gift to our family so we could freely, whole-heartedly go after pleasing God by starting this new season and level of ministry.  It overwhelms me all the plans God has shared, is sharing and reveals and blows me away as I know its just a glimpse of what He has planned if we just continue to say "Yes".  My faith and belief are ever growing because as in every situation in the past, He positions us so He is strongest in our weakness allowing all the glory to go to Him.  We know what and where He is leading we can't obtain or do on our own … but our God whom we love and serve can and already has it covered. We just need to submit ourselves, say "Yes", get out of His way and hang on!  He's always provided and lead us well, far beyond anything we could imagine and He keeps expanding our ability to imagine.  Wow!

Thank you Mom and Thank you God for giving me such a role model to walk out You for me.

Let's CELEBRATE!

                                … And that's How Grieving my Mom HIS WAY looks like for me.

I wonder what Insight Hut He has in mind tomorrow and what the insight will be.  Nothing but joy and anticipation from me!

What does grieving my mom according to You look like for me? Insight Hut #150

27 October 2014

Compton Campground

Insight Hut #150

Branson MO

Today is the first day for me to be totally away from all who need loved, ministered to and whatever else since my precious mother's passing Monday, October 13, when she sung her way into Heaven and I was able to hand her over to God's loving arms at 7:17 am. Truly His Joy does come in the morning!

My amazing husband responded to my inability to be able to put healthy boundaries up (from others expectations, needs, demands, desires to love me as they wanted or needed to whether due to not knowing me and how I process or just needing to fulfill their own needs, etc) so I could center in and make sure I grieve as God intends instead of putting my needs aside for others and pushing through or burying inside. I totally, with my husband and sons agreement, gave my absolute all to my mom this past six months and almost exclusively the final month of her life with the finals weeks of not leaving her room except twice for appointments I couldn't reschedule. It was a sweet time however it also depleted my physical health.

So … here I sit in God's presence in Hut #150 in a remote county and city from home and my loved ones (I need to research that # significance as He was specific this hut, this time.) laying myself open before God at His throne asking, “What does grieving my mom look like according to You for me?”

After sitting on top the table and praying, I just sit in His beauty and … just BE. As I gaze out across the beauty of the fall foliage, trees of varying sizes and colors, He first brings into focus 3 sturdy, tall, prominent dark trees that stand out amidst the forest. The beauty and stature of the trees, out of all the many shapes, colors, statures of the trees, these three stand out predominately. I sense the closest to me represents my husband, Randy, who God has filled my life and blessed me with as a life mate. During this time with my mom he has grown and covered me like never before in my life. He has cried with me celebration tears after her passing and different times since. Like the tree, he is sturdy and tall, not perfect, not rigidly straight but purposeful and successfully focused at going ever upward to connect and be fed by the The Son, not twisted or tangled with the other trees of the forest, not handicapped nor marred by the challenges of his development.

Just beyond or past this tree are two of the same prominent type trees of just a tad smaller stature. They signify our sons, Josiah and Malachi. They are sheltered under the covering of the larger tree; however standing solidly alone in close proximity to each other as they are prepared to be predominate in the forest. They have been nurtured and allowed to develop into strong, sturdy, well-rooted trees that are no longer just under the coverage of their father tree but now in union and focused on reaching and staying in connection with The Son in their own personal relationship yet in communion with each other. They too are not twisted, gnarled or deformed. Not perfect and rigidly straight but always moving upward in growth.

I marvel at how despite Randy and I's being human, making choices and settling for less than His best, and being human battling the flesh as we strive to serve God, know Him more intimately and minister to those He brings to our lives, God has covered our sons through us with the aid of others to develop them as the mighty warriors God created them to be. Satan has been trying to wear me down by pointing out all the sacrifices and times the boys have done or gone without so we could, as a family, love on others as He leads. The times when I should have, would have, could have. Pointing out how we did't have purposeful Christlike boundaries in place so the boys and our family are/have been exposed to abusers, depleters, attackers, leeches, saboteurs, suckers, well-intended but not Christ directed deeds, busyness, etc. The burden is heavy when I allow my ear to listen to that, seeing all the errors and short comings of our choices. It brings the feeling of doom and gloom, of failing those we love the most that were given to us as our #1 mission field. Then (thank you God!) with just a breath or a blink of an eye, I choose to see with His Christ Perspective and I see how through all the challenges and abuse we all, including our sons, have grown and become stronger warriors learning from the goodness and the attacks. It has helped strengthen and develop character in each one of us. We have learned 'how to' and 'how not to' do by real life examples with sometimes Randy and I being the best examples of how not to do something! (Praise God our sons love us.) These times have taken our roots to deeper levels and continues to develop, deepen and spread out to allow us to ever continue growing and soaring in relationship with The Son. All these attacks or blights of the enemy have not marred their development but added to and expanded who they are, who we are as parents and who we are as a family. He is ever faithful.

My focus is then directed to smaller white birch and other variety trees and their colorful presence across the way. The Lord shows me as Randy and I strive continually to raise our knowledge, understanding and mantle for Christ that our sons are to launch from – the boys are being covered and raised to higher, deeper levels in Him as well. All of this and the overflow of God's love of, in and through us spreads out to help nurture, develop and feed others that God brings into our lives and ministry home. Each with their own purpose and direction that are blessed and grown/expanded by His presence in and on us that overflows to meet and fill their individual areas of need and growth. We love them all no matter their size, situation or stature. Some are thin vines that depend on others to hold them up but yet they still are intent on climbing higher. Others are bare branches, others full of leaves and fruit, some bland and some vibrant. Some have lost direction and are bent down, others have succumbed to hurts/wounds and developed no further or died completely. Through all this God shows me that we are an important part of His Kingdom. Even those that choose to give up and die bring His victory as the goodness from their nutrients from them returning to the earth help create rich soil for others to grow from. As we focus and grow in Him setting our mantle ever higher, as we grow in new light and knowledge to cover and launch our sons from … others are also fed by Him through us to the extent that they are willing to open up and receive. Some up close in relationship and others from a far just watching our walk and daily lives. What a humbling and heavy responsibility. Makes my seeking how to walk out grieving my mom His way even more important. Makes learning how to love ourselves so we can love our neighbors best even more of a priority. Makes my words and actions even more important and accountable even when I think no one is probably looking.

As I continue to delight in His revelations in nature He draws my attention to the sound and feel of the breeze. It started gently, softly moving just a few trees that were open and flexible to allow it to move them. As time continues it is growing as the wind picks up and other trees join in. It's almost like a “wave” that starts in one area and spreads to another. Like a single chorus that then develops into a musical round. The sweetness and now the beauty as the trees are beginning to sway and dance more with others joining in. The trees God showed as our family are ever so peacefully, gracefully flowing back and forth to the movement of the music. Those trees that are surrounding near and far are being nurtured, expanded and encouraged to join in more freely and vigorously in praising the mighty One. There are some who are boldly moving, those that are timid and those that are just observing the others. Each are able to learn from those that are further in development, learning how to be more open and flexible to flow with the Holy Spirit … or choose to stay stiff and unyielding, breaking under the challenges, decaying and eventually rotting to return nutrients to the ground to feed the other living trees – yet again an example of God's victory in even the darkest choices. It takes each one in their individually different levels and forms of worship to preform this beautiful display and sound of God and His mighty Love for each one of us, no matter where we are or what we have done. We each one have been specifically created from His thought of who we are and have an important part of what He is doing in His Kingdom. You do matter. He yearns for you to give Him whatever love and adoration you are capable of at the moment and loves you even when you are loving and adoring something or someone else. He is a patient God and waits with anticipation for you … even to your dying breath.

With the increased breeze I'm being lead to go seek warmer covering. So, on that note … I shall return to continue the quest of “What does grieving my mom look like according to You for me?”. Thanks to those who are prayerfully lifting me up during this journey. I love you and speak blessings for your faithfulness. Wonder what Hut # and insight He has already planned for me next!

Tools and Life Lessons

We were so absolutely blessed to get to go to my parent’s home this weekend for a fast 30 hour visit. During this time we were also able to get to meet up with my brother and sister-in-law who live and serve among the Navajo in the Arizona/New Mexico area. It was such a short time but yet God enabled us to get a lot done and to get to touch the hearts and feet of my parents. He also met me there and downloaded insight to me in even the smallest things. I just love seeing how He chooses to open my eyes and mind to things He sees and feels.



Saturday after my parents, my brother and our family went to eat lunch together, I was honored with getting to take my mom shopping for some new shoes. Years ago my mom suffered a brain stem stroke that left her with a left-sided deficit making things that once were easy a big task now. Shopping is something I did not grow up doing, not sure if it was due to not enjoying it or not have finances or both. However, with my mom and I, it’s not something on our top list of things to do. Needless to say, this afternoon of shopping for shoes to fit over her AFO brace was one filled with much needed laughter on both of our parts. It was so much fun to get to freely laugh with my mom. She has been blessed with an electric scooter which we took out to assist in prolonging her physical stamina (she doesn’t get out much so it’s physically exhausting). However, with this new tool, she needed experience to increase her operating skills. It was a precious time for me to get to watch my mom concentrate and work hard on trying to figure out how to make that little “joystick” on her scooter take her scooter and thus her, where she needed it to go. It was such a joy to get to watch, wait, and see her accomplishment when she was able to use her new “tool” to make her life more full or accessible. I was so proud of her and how she never gave up or got overly frustrated. It was an honor to be there and quietly, patiently assist her (like I have much experience using joysticks … my boys have far more knowledge there!) with what I could see from my angle that would make things work better for her in different situations. During her learning time of maneuvering in and out of bathroom stalls, elevators, narrow aisles, etc I spent a lot of time just watching and praying so as not to interfere with her focus. However, there were situations where I was able to giggle with my mom (a much better thing then getting frustrated and angry!). I was also able to pass on the peace, pride and joy of her new accomplishment with her scooter with people that entered into our paths (however haphazardly!) It was amazing to see people’s demeanor change when they found out my mom had a new tool and was learning to use it. They were much more supportive and most times would depart from our presence with a new smile on their face and some a bounce in their step. Wow, to imagine, while learning to use a new tool, my mom was able to be used by God to uplift others in ways we will never know. We all have experience with learning to use a new tool and the sense of accomplishment that comes with it once we master it. I sense that many were reminded of the good feelings they experienced at such a time in their life.



But wait! There’s more! God has many years ago spoken in to my life about making sure I’m not comparing myself to anyone else... just the me He has created me to be. I am to always measure myself against my own personal measuring stick to see my growth. He has created us each unique and we are all at different growth levels so only comparable to ourselves. I totally enjoy the fact that I am at peace with what He’s doing in and through my life. I love how He edifies others through me just being the person He created me to be (and how He feeds me in return). In learning to measure my growth against myself and no one else, I’m encouraged with what He’s doing and thus respond with peace, joy, patience, His love and so much more instead of the frustration, intolerance, bad attitude and all that comes when trying to compare with someone else and never measuring up or having a positive comparison. It’s makes for a much more pleasant life no matter what challenges cross life’s path.



Talking about challenges … my mom was a trooper in laughing through my consistency and being patient with me. After seeing that most of the shoes were on top of the display shelves and not easy for my mom to view, I tootled through the aisles looking for different shoes that would possibly work and fit with her brace then bring them to her to try. Now trying on shoes can be exhausting but add having to prep the shoe to receive the AFO brace then placing it on a deficit foot … we’re talking marathon here for both of us! I could do all the prep work but I totally had to step back and allow my mom to see if she would be able to get the shoe on her foot without my help (seeing as how she doesn’t normally have anyone around to help her! … and she’s pretty stubborn about being as independent as possible – a good trait at times!) At times it was so hard for me to just step back and watch. I so wished I could step in and help but my help would only possibly hurt her physically (if I tried to bend the brace or flex her leg or foot in the wrong direction) OR possibly give her a false belief that the shoe would meet her need in her being able to get it on but with my assistance thus wasting money that she is steward over by ending up with something that won’t work for where she is at physically. Wow talk about a download of God’s heart to mine! He so wants to help us as the Father that He is. However He, having created us, knows that He has to step back and allow us to make our choices and walk through the consequences so we can learn. He gave us guidance and step-by-step, hands-on directions by sending His son, Jesus, to earth to walk every aspect of life that we might ever encounter. He even called forth others to document it for us so we would always have access to the “How To Manual” (Bible) and can access it whenever we choose to. Some like to read the instructions first … others like to wait and try it themselves and only when in a bind access the manual for help in getting out of the mess. When we are struggling or just living our day to day life, He is always watching over us as the proud parent that He is and giving us little boosts of help when we allow Him too and it will not hinder us and our growth. No matter our struggles, He is always there with us looking at us with eyes of pride and a heart full of love, proud of even the baby steps that we are taking. He doesn’t ever look at us with malice or contempt. He’s always cheering for us and whispering little helps to us or sending help if we are open to seeing, hearing and receiving it. Wow … His love is so deep and His feelings even deeper for us.



And the laughs continue … My mom, being weary from the outing, was ever so patient and open to giggling with me when invariably, I would pull the right shoe out and prep it. I even put her AFO in one of them getting ready for her to try it out! If you haven’t guessed by now … my mom’s AFO goes on her LEFT foot! We tried the AFO in well over 20 different shoes and I’m not sure if I should be proud or not, but I can say I’m consistent … I truly pulled and prepped the right shoe in every one of them! Tee Hee … I still giggle about it as we did through the remainder of our visit. Enter yet another LIFE LESSON: Sometimes we are so focused on what we are doing that we continue to approach it in a way that doesn’t meet the purpose (i.e. prepping the shoe was necessary however prepping the right shoe was a waste of my time and energy since the final outcome depended on the left shoe). However God is always patient with us and brings good or victory out of all that we do. I caused more work for myself however God allowed my mom to get physical rest while I was exerting my energy in a way one could deem as useless. (I tried to tell mom I was only doing this to give her more time to rest between all the exertion of trying on yet another shoe … she didn’t buy it though!) Through this He showed me that, sometimes we run around in busyness doing good deeds and consistently going through a long process to reach the necessary means. However, we could be less busy (not prepping the “right shoe”) and take more time to just sit and rest in Him in between just prepping and trying on the needed “left shoe”. It’s untruth that we must always be busy. Jesus, while He was on this earth, set the example over and over that we need to be still, rest & commune with God. Be less busy. Oh how much more happier and energetic we would all be if we would ask Him to show us ways that we are making excess “busy” in our lives and turn that time in to rest time, time to enjoy all the He gives us. I pray this for each one of us. Less Busy = More time with Him + more energy + more Joy + more time with our #1 mission field + more accomplished for His Kingdom.



The final insight I’ll share for today, however not of this shopping trip … we went with the mindset of looking for tennis shoes as that is what Mom has pretty much always used. The therapist who fitted the AFO to mom after her stroke fitted it to a tennis shoe and so the pattern continued for years even though an inner desire of my mom’s heart was for something different, a change, a chance to dress up or appear a bit more fashionable. Thus we started our shopping trip out in the same path or rut that was started years ago, looking for tennis shoes that would work and being willing to settle on something that fit even if she didn’t like the looks. Praise God I was listening to Him. I started to look outside the box (no pun intended but hey it works with shoes!). I refused to force my mom to stay in the rut and only get what worked but didn’t bring joy to her. She is too special and unique for that! After many tennis shoe preppings, yucks and ughs not to mention the eye rolling … I started introducing other types of shoes I could find that might possibly work. We encountered many duds (thus many laughs – it is what you make it!) that just wouldn’t allow her to get her foot in. However … by really stepping out of the box and all that the world has brain washed us so easily with … we finally found a pair of penny loafers that worked with the AFO and were fun, fashionable, and serviceable for my mom. Needless to say, they were nowhere near the original rut we started in (women’s tennis shoes). No, God took us on a totally different path that without being open to Him we would not have even considered. The penny loafers were not women’s (as they weren’t cut properly to fit the AFO) but men’s which were a better fit with what we were working with. PONDER Point: So what “rut” are you stuck in? What area are you still operating in because that is what you first were introduced to? Are you willing to allow God to help pull you out of your “rut” and take you to a new level? To assist you in finding a new path that is a better fit to whom and what He created you to be? That makes your heart race or swell up with excitement? That puts a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and joy in your spirit? That gets you excited to get out of bed each day! That gets you excited to see what the day is to bring? It could be in your life ministry, schooling, your diet, the way you study His word, how you relate / love your family, how you relate to other people … the list and possibilities are limitless … our God is bigger than we can even comprehend and wants - as the ultimate great parent – to love on us so much and give us even more. So … are you going to settle for the “rut” OR step outside of the box and look to see what exciting path awaits your journey’s footsteps? Doesn’t mean it will always be easy but it will be more exciting, joyful and fulfilling personally and Kingdom wise.



We love to hear from you! Thanks for all of you who are partnering with us in so many different and creative ways! Your encouragement and partnership allows us to work together as a team to further His Kingdom. We so love and enjoy looking at all the amazingly creative ways He works in and through us as a team “outside the box”.


Blessings and Love!


Created to Serve in His Love,

Michelle, Randy, Josiah & Malachi Wendt
MyFathersBlessing@gmail.com

A Little Bite of Bread “We Need a Coach”

1 Corinthians 9: 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. 24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.


As I think about this passage I think about a person running a race in a track meet. To me, what he is saying is that he becomes to the people what they are in order to help them, to be their coach as they learn to live the life of faith and trust in Jesus. For me, this was a wow moment! As I think about the many people that God has put in my path and how they have coached me in my growth and maturity in Christ.


The reality is, if I decide to run in a marathon or I decide to join a soccer league, or football team or any other sport, In order to learn to play the game and learn the rules and learn to recognize the things that will cause me to trip, fall and get hurt, I need a coach. The coach will tell me, you can not run with your toes pointing in, you will fall. You can not run without keeping your eyes straight ahead, there may be something on the ground that would catch your feet and cause you to fall. The coach will encourage me in times when I get tired and start thinking, I can’t do this. I will never learn! The coach will push me when I think I have trained enough and I am going to be okay to lay off, my coach will say no, come on push a little harder, there is more in you than what you are giving.


The truth is, our spiritual walk with the Lord is the same way. The devil has many devises set in place to trip us up. When I first came to Jesus, I had no idea how to live a life of victory of him. The longer I am saved and the more I read the scripture the more I find out, I still know nothing and I need help. If I do not allow the coaches that God has put into my life speak the truth and tell me the things I need to know in order to help me learn how to run my race, I will spend all of my time, falling, getting up off of the ground and starting over. That is not what God has in mind for my life.


Just as in a sport there are different coaches for different purposes, so are there different coaches for different purposes in my spiritual life. The head coach, the Holy Spirit is my main authority in all things. I do not always get to talk to him because I am so wrapped up in me and my own stuff that I forget that he is there to help me and I forget that He already knows the best path to take. When I first got saved, I did not even know how to recognize him and the work he was doing in my life. I needed a coach to help me to learn to listen and learn to recognize when He was working and moving in my situations. God had to use the pastors and teachers and other leaders to speak truths, to tell me this is not the way, that is the world’s way and it is a trap set for you. I have to not only listen to them, but I have to decide that I want to take the advice they give and use to help me grow and learn and get past the obstacles that get in my way. I have to choose not to get mad when they say things that I may not like to hear. In most cases, when I struggle, the biggest problem is me. To have somebody come right and say, Linda, your looking at you again is not always easy for them or for me but if I want to grow, and want to learn how to win, I have to step back and say thank you for loving enough to tell me to truth about me so that I can learn a better way.


Life and winning are not easy. There is no room for lazy when playing a sport. Everybody has to play together for one goal, one purpose and that is to win the game. I can not run my race wanting to be the superstar in the show and I can not run my race expecting to win if I do not listen and apply what my coaches are telling me. I can not run my race alone because there are many devises already in place to trip me up and if I do not have coaches to help me recognize the traps and help pick me up when I fall, I will be stuck in the middle of a trap with no one to help me get out.


I love Gods word. I love how He has spoken his divine words in such a way that we can see how to apply it to our lives. For me, learning that I need a coach was a very powerful lesson. It is a totally different approach to life for me. I have always been one who thought I did not need anybody and I really did not want anybody in my life. In my mind, people who want to get involved in my life were only out to use me for a time the leave me broken and angry in the end. Why would I want to allow one more person in my life like that? Learning that there are people in this world that do not want to hurt but to help and that their motive, their goal really had nothing to do with me but everything to do with their love for Jesus was one of the major breakthrough points in my life.
It is my prayer tonight, that we all have our head coach, the Holy Spirit and that we have learned to recognize His voice and obey his direction in our lives. I pray that our hearts are open to listen and learn from our Pastor and our Group leaders and others God has put in our lives to help us as we grow and develop in our wonderful Lord Jesus. I pray that God will give us ears willing to hear the truth and hearts willing to apply what we hear and without taking offence to what has been said. I pray that as we learn the truth about ourselves compared to the truth in Gods word, we will be willing to apply that learning and make the corrections and adjustments necessary to win our race.


Linda

When can He have all of me?

I cannot have more of Jesus because He has already given me all of Himself. The question is when can He have all of me? So the declaration and consecration should be "Jesus, you can have more of me today and every day until we have come to the end of me and all that is left is you."

God's Vessel

2 Timothy 2:20-22 (The Message)

20-21In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.

22-26Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness—faith, love, peace—joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil's trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.

APPLICATION:

Don't let the dents of life or the shape of your vessel hold you back from the greatness you were created for. No matter your past choices or mistakes, you can become/be a container God uses to bless others. God loves ALL of you. You were created for a purpose and have a specific use in God's greater plan. God doesn't mess up and is greater than all else. He makes GOOD come from what others intended for evil. Even dented, outdoor trash cans have a very important part in the greater plan. Choose today to become a container that God uses to bless others just as you are where you are.

Keep your SHINE on!

"A Little Bite of Bread" God is watching us

God is watching over us! The other day as we were pulling into our driveway, we noticed our new neighbor sitting in his truck with binoculars next to our drive. We stopped and asked him if he was okay. He was quite embarrassed as he was explaining that he was watching his cow which was due to calve. He explained, I have no children, so these cows are my babies and I just need to watch her until she has the calf to make sure that she does not have any trouble. He was out there all day and even after dark keeping his eyes on this cow. This may seem silly but as I watched him, I thought about how the bible says in Job 34:21 “God watches where people go; he sees every step they take. and is Psalms 139:7 “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! NLT As I thought about this it gave me such a beautiful picture of how God watches over us. Like my neighbor did not crowd his cow but sat back at a safe distance and watched with his binoculars, God never crowds us. He sits up in the heavens and watches at a distance and then gently prompts us if we need to move, change or turn. He is such a gentleman, He asks us to seek Him instead of being and pushy and forcing himself on us. When we choose to come closer to Him, James 4:8 says “…He will draw near to you.” When we choose to seek Him, He says we will find Him. My neighbor’s cows are not the ordinary auction cows but they are show cows and the loss of one cow would cost him a lot of money but that is not why He was watching the cow. He was watching the cow because he has put a value on that cow that was worth much more than money. He valued her because in his heart she is one of his children. He wanted to ensure her safety and well being as a father would a child. In James 1:18 the bible tells us “He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession”. You see, we sometimes think for some reason that God is too busy to help us, we are too bad to be loved by God, we are so ordinary that God would not even bother to notice us out of the crowd but that is all wrong. God created each and every one of us. He had a plan in mind to be with us throughout our lives and He made a way that even in our sin we could still maintain our relationship with Him by providing the perfect sacrifice for us. We are a prized possession that He sits back at a distance and watches continually. We are His children and He wants to make sure that we are going to be okay. While my neighbor was embarrassed to express his love for his cows, My God is never embarrassed or ashamed to say He loves me and He loves you. Praying you that as you go through the day today, you can feel the eyes of our Father watching you.
Linda

"A Little Bite of Bread" I was a stray onceMonday, February 8, 2010 3:54 AM

I Was A Stray Once

This weekend I had the pleasure of going to spend time at Camp Allen . I love that place. The cabins are nestled in the woods on the lake. They have a porch with chairs for you to sit and watch the sun rise and set on the lake. Because this is a private facility and because it is not anywhere close to a residential area it is the last place you would expect to see a stray dog. This morning though, there was a stray dog show up. He was scared, hungry and very dirty. I spoke to him and he ran away. Later, while we were eating on the porch, he showed up again. We started to throw little bites of bread to him and he was very happy to gobble them up. I could not stand it, I wanted to pet him so bad but he was way to scared to let me get close. I went to the bottom step and started throwing the little bites of bread each time making each piece a little closer than the piece before. He had to choose to take a step closer or to run away because of his fear of people. The last two bites, I set on the step next to me, and he very cautiously came and ate them watching me the whole time. If I flinched he would jump back, watch and then slowly move in again. This was the beginning of a relationship with this little guy. I took off for a walk in the woods and he followed, at first at a safe distance and as the time passed, he would get closer and closer till when I came back and sat at the picnic table, he was daring to get close enough to sniff my legs and put his nose in my lap. It was so sweet. I started asking God, what is the message you have for me in this dog?

As I thought about it, I started thinking that the same way that I have slowly thrown little bites of bread out to this dog so the Lord has slowly thrown little bites to me. I was a stray, looking for all sorts of ways to find the food to nourish my soul, looking for safety and security in isolation and fear and anger, looking for peace through addictions and escape.

Then the Lord started calling in little ways like the Psalm says Psalm 34:8 O taste and see that the Lord [our God] is good! Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him. He threw little bites of bread that slowly pulled me into his presence and there, I found that the bread was sweet and the peace was real. When I was first saved, to experience the peace and safety of the Lord was a mysterious thing I thought only possible for those who served the Lord. I thought they had that ability because they were good enough and they had something special that I could never have. I thought I would never be good enough for him to listen to me when I prayed and for him to help me with my problems and my life. I am so thankful, He knows my every thought, and He continually put me in the right place at the right time for the right person to throw me one more little bite of sweat bread and it would give me a little more hope, a little more faith, a little more of the truth. He threw me just one little precious nugget at a time to keep me following Jesus, with hope and expectation that I would get one more little bite of bread to nourish my soul. You see, If I would have taken that dog a bowl full of food and set it out there and walked away, the dog would have eaten and run away. There would have never been a chance for a relationship to develop. If God would have given me a full dose of bread, I would have eaten until I was full and run off into my woods again never being able to develop that sweet relationship that gives freedom. If I would have tried to force myself on the dog, I would have scared him away or gotten bit in the process of trying to develop a relationship with him. If when Pastor Alan preached the message that spoke to my heart and drew me to say Yes, I want Jesus, in a manner that was forceful telling me I had to take the bread that he was feeding to me, I would have run away never to return and would have lost that chance to have hope in my life. If the teachers that I have learned from, ever tried to force the message that God gave them to give to me, in a way where I was backed in a corner with a choice to take it or else, the possibilities are that they would have been bitten and I would have run away again. Instead, God has used these teachers to give me one little bite at a time, in such a sweet and loving way, always accepting me and loving me even when I was dirty, scared, and broken like this little dog.

As I think about how I felt so worthless, so incapable of being accepted and loved, how I felt so unworthy of Gods love, I remember the scripture where the woman wanted Jesus to heal her child Matthew 15:26-28 (New King James Version)26 But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.” 27 And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
I am so comforted by this scripture because even though Jesus was calling her a dog, He was moved to help her because of one thing, she was willing to take the crumbs that were dropped from the table and she believed that just getting the crumbs were enough to bring her the deliverance that she was needing. Her faith in His ability was enough to save her. He was so moved by her faith that He told her LET IT BE AS YOU DESIRE. She not only got to receive the miracle of healing for her daughter but she was able to receive what her heart desired, a crumb from the masters table that told her, even if she was a dog, she was accepted by her master and a crumb from Him was more than enough.
Today, I pray that if you have not found the sweet taste of the bread of Jesus, that you would cry out to him and ask Him to come into your life and let you taste the sweetness of the bread of life. If you have accepted and tasted the sweet bread, I pray that you will continue to seek not only the little bites of bread that He is throwing to you but also to seek the wonderful relationship that waits for you as you slowly draw closer and closer and that you will one day, trust him enough to lay your head in His lap just as this dog eventually laid his head in my lap. If you are still in a place where you feel totally unworthy of His love, His blessings, His peace and His presence in your life like I once felt, I pray that you just keep taking one more step forward and know that the more time you spend with him, the more those feelings will fall away and the more you will begin to feel like you do belong and that you do not have to be good enough to be loved and accepted, you just have to accept Jesus who was good enough for all of us! If you are one who feeds the bread, I pray that God will bless you with the right pieces of bread to throw and that He will help you to keep the pieces big enough to satisfy the hunger pains but not so much that there would be no need for more.
I am so thankful to be able to look at a stray dog and see how God loved me so much. I am so thankful that when I was so scared and so lost that He wanted so much to touch me that He threw me on little bite at a time in such a loving way where I wanted more and more. I am so thankful that through the bread, I was able to draw close enough to begin to learn to trust and believe and have hope that Jesus could truly wash my sins away and lead to me a place of peace and quiet rest in Him. I am so thankful that as life happens and I get scared and want to run again, He does not flinch but tells me just believe that the crumbs I am feeding you are more than enough.
Blessings to you my friend,
Linda