How's your lamp shining?

John 1:6-8 HNV "There came a man, sent from God, whose name was Yochanan [John}. The same came as a witness, that he might testify about the light, that all might believe through him.  He was not the light, but was sent that he might testify about the light."

We are sent from God as a witness that we might testify about the light, that all might believe through us.  Wow!  What an impact that scripture has made on me.  I, like Yochanan [John] am a lamp that shines the Light [Christ].  So … I have to stop and ask, how am I doing?  How well is my lamp reflecting the light of Christ?  Are others believing because of how I am living my life? my choices? my actions? my love for self? my love for others? my ability to forgive myself? to forgive others? 

What type of lamp light was I created to be?  What type of lamp light am I actually being?  

Here are just a few that have come to mind:

A light controlled by a switch - either fully on or fully off.  

A dimmer light - Either fully off or when on, on at varying degrees of brightness from barely there to full on bright or somewhere in between.  

A hazard flashing light - Only used when there is a problem.

A blinker - on one moment and off the next.  Only used when making a deviation from the path and even then not always being turned on when deviating and making a direction change.

A headlight - If old style - only on when turned on at night (in today's times that's if one remembers to turn it on or someone warns and flashes that we are proceeding without light).  If modern style then we are on all of the time but still primary use is during the night or stormy times to light the way  immediately in front of us on our journey.  We can be low density (which many drive using all the time instead of using the high density bright lights and having to remember to "dim" our headlights when others are approaching.) or high density bright beam lights. 

Christmas lights - All pretty and colorful, either solid or twinkling with part of us on at all times for the season; however once the season is over we are packed away for all the other seasons until our one season comes around again.  

A lighthouse - Shining 24/7 for others to help navigate, giving direction and keeping their paths focused on God, aware of and avoiding snares/traps/dangers.   There for all to use and giving 100% even though you may never know those that were directed by the light that shined through you.  

A search light - Radiant light that pierces the sky to be seen for miles and miles to draw others to come and find out what is the big deal.  We aren't the big deal but our lives reflecting His goodness and greatness through us draw others near so that they can come and meet Him for themselves receiving His salvation,  focusing on Him, believing Him, knowing Him, loving Him, walking with Him, partaking in His fullness.  He is the BIG DEAL.   

I also must ask myself, am I tending my lamp properly and to my best ability?  Am I keeping it in good operational shape - trimming the wick, keeping the oil full, prepared to be lit as He beacons?  Or am I busy running after other things or world busyness that I am too tired or distracted to make sure I am fulfilling the reason I was sent. Am I living such that anyone would see Christ in and through me and choose to believe in Him?  Am I drawing others to Christ or am I part of the attack of the busyness to distract and keep them away from Him?  No matter what, when you stop and look at it, you are either living so others can believe because of you OR you are living so that others are in unbelief and lost.  You're either for or against, there's no fence riding.  What an amazing love and confidence Christ has in us to give us such an impact on all His precious children young and old.  

Honestly, my life in and love for Christ has grown so much during my years; however I can see myself in each of the different types of lights.  I have had to stop, repent and ask His forgiveness for not living up to my best at the different stages of my life.  In this new awareness I strive to live more fully reflecting Him through me so others are not delayed in their belief because of me and my action or lack of action.  I am exhilarated with the simple understanding that I am here to be a lamp testifying of His light so others may come to Him and know Him.  As easy and simplistic as that is, I find myself knowing that every time i achieve my best He will then give me more wisdom and knowledge that will always keep me reaching and obtaining new levels of best in Him.  He will always keep leading me on in great anticipation of new levels of awe all my days as His lamp on this Earth.   I must keep Christ perspective that obtaining our best is a great thing and opens us up to continual new levels of best.  And if I stumble, then I must get up, repent, learn and keep moving forward and upward.   I must make a point to not adopt the world's perspective that we're never good enough no matter how hard we try, that our best just means failure as more is always expected.  For me, it is an awesome promise that He always has more for me so that in my pursuit of knowing Him I will never tire nor reach an end.  I am only limited by what I myself limit myself.  Hmm, to totally understand that fully - that I am the only thing holding me back.    With Him the possibilities and expansion is unlimited!  Thank you God!!  

Reconciled or Unreconciled?

Our Foreign Ambassador assignment or job description while we are serving here on Earth:

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

Definition from Freedictionary.com:

rec·on·cile  (rkn-sl) v. rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing, rec·on·ciles v.tr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship between. 2. To settle or resolve. 3. To bring (oneself) to accept: He finally reconciled himself to the change in management. 4. To make compatible or consistent: reconcile my way of thinking with yours. See Synonyms at adapt. v.intr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship, as in marriage: The estranged couple reconciled after a year. 2. To become compatible or consistent: The figures would not reconcile.

For us to be able to walk out this assignment, we need to make sure that we are walking reconciled with God so that we can, through our daily walk/life, witness to others on how to be reconciled through our actions and not just our words. Once we are walking in a close relationship with God our lives will speak for us and reflect His love to others especially those that are hurting and distanced from God. For others to know that God is capable of forgiving them and being in relationship with them they need to see that we are able to ask God for forgiveness AND forgive ourselves and others, repent - walking out the consequences of righting the relationship and leave it in the past as forgotten and paid in full by the blood of Christ.

So, in preparation for your final job evaluation, take time now and do a personal review. Are you reconciled or unreconciled?  

Insight Hut #123 - What Does Grieving My Mom Your way Lord look life for me?

Today the journey started with healing ministry class at Faith Life Church with Brother Joey Woodward beginning a new teaching on "Hope in God".  Just another fine example that God leads you and gives you the insight teaching He desires to expand in you when you listen and say "Yes" to Him -- even when you don't know what you're fully saying "Yes" too!  It's always, always worth the step of faith to say "Yes".  He's never lead me wrong yet and always gets me out of or through challenges I get myself in to if I lose focus and wander a bit.  I will possibly share more about Brother Joey's teaching - however for clip notes, it covered Colossians 1 entirely and Romans 15:13 and concluded with he and his lovely wife praying with me as God brings this next season of His retreat and healing refuge from a thought (that he gave to Malachi when he was about 2 yrs old and Randy and I about that same time frame too) to a BE.  After the teaching we were speaking and I shared my quest for grieving my mom His Way and my struggle of what that looked like, Brother Joey spoke the word O death where is they sting.  I Cor 15:55.  It rang affirmative with my spirit … there was no sting in my mom's death.

So, after a refreshing rest this afternoon, I now find myself lead to Insight Hut #123.  And lead I was.  There are so many to pick from but every time I tried to settle for another Hut He prodded me on to receive His best or fullness of Insight Hut #123.  As I come up to it I can tell its not been used often.  The leaves are built up more than any of the others.  The table is covered with debris and dust webs from lack of use.  There are at least 10 other Insight Huts in view yet this one stands very much alone.  The trees are mostly young saplings with some mature but not predominant trees.  (Represents those stuck in grief mode?)

It would appear that grieving is a time or season you do alone, possibly in proximity of others grieving but each person is unique in its journey so thus alone.  You can take heart that others have been here before you and may be on the journey now so even though you're alone, you're not truly alone or abandoned.  You can walk your individual journey along side others who are walking their own personal journey.  Just keep your eyes and focus on your journey and don't compare to anyone else's!  Otherwise you might get lost in the journey of grief and stay longer than you should or need or even worse, plant your roots and remain the rest of your earthly days.

The many saplings speak a time of tenderness and newness to me.  This is a new season of life, a new start.  In the case for me its a new season …. of living as His Ambassador in this foreign land without my physical mentor, my nurturer, my comforter … my precious mother.  She's been there for me since before my first breath.  She loved me from the moment she knew God was creating me inside of her.  Okay, her thoughts and words might not have been so loving and kind when she though I was a violent flu; however as soon as she knew it wasn't the flu and wouldn't pass but be in her life for the rest of her life … SHE LOVED ME!!!  What insight and revelation of God's love to me.  Except we went from 1) being His thought to 2) BEing and there was no ill thought of flu, discomfort of sickness, no dread, no icky (technical term) feeling … just pure love, joy and delight at His creation.  Wow!  And I've been honored to be a mom and experience that intimacy of love.  Thank you God, I'm so humbled and will strive more to love fuller my family and those you bring to us to love.

So here I am again … What does grieving my mom Your way Lord look like for me?  I want to get it done and launch fully whole into this new season.  Just like my mom, I chase after Him seeking to please Him and honor Him.

So … if in doubt, look up the definition to identify or define according to some dictionary what the baseline or meaning of the word is -- it even gives you different tenses i.e. noun, verb, past, present, transferal? (I think I missed English that day!)

GRIEF:  to cause great distress or sorrow.

SORROW:  a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain.

So … here I sit pondering those definitions.  "SORROW: a feeling of deep distress caused by loss ..."  Hmmm, I didn't lose my mom.  I know where she is.  She fulfilled her assignment in this foreign land and was able to return home to hear "Well Done".  "… disappointment …" my mom's life was anything but a disappointment.  Her life walk inspired all (even sometimes when I fathered it didn't).  I experienced moments of sadness while she was till alive when I looked at the challenges of life she lived in, the abuse, the neglect, the sacrifices … but wait!  There's more!!! (And no extra shipping charge either!  God already took care of that fee.)  The Lord brought to mind we either receive our rewards and treasures here on Earth OR we store up eternal rewards and treasures in Heaven.  My mom so got that and choose an eternity of rewards and treasures rather than Earthly ones that break, have be be cleaned, replaced, moved, etc.  "… or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others."  Suffered - yeah she went through some intense pain in the flesh in the final month but her sweetness remained and she endured for  His gain praising Him through the pain and tears.  If you read her obituary then you know her passing had no part of suffering or distress and honestly -- it was so sweet and anointed it brought great joy to both Randy and I that we were witness to her eyes being opened to the Heavens and her pure vocal response in seeing her Savior and Lord, her Comforter, her Provider, her Lover and the wealth of rewards and treasures she honestly in her humility had no clue were awaiting her.

Randy and I were so humbled that He loved us and let us witness it.  That I got to hold her and kiss her goodbye as she prayed / conversed with God in a language only He understands then sang her way into Heaven while I held her physical body that housed her spirit until He received her spirit in His arms with the ultimate, long awaited hug from One who was dearer to her than any other.  No greater love have I witnessed or felt.  Even now these tears I'm shedding are tears of thanksgiving, of being so humbled that He allowed me, little (okay maybe not so much presently) ole me to hold her and hand her over to Him.  The One i know and trust.  The One who loves my mom even more than I.  Suffering or distress?  Absolutely NOT!  It was like receiving top honor or recognition … and I was just being who He created me to be, loving as He poured in to me, tending, serving the mentor He purposefully chose for me.

"DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety …" …. Nope!  We knew where she was going and it's far better than any taste of Heaven she may or may not have had on this Earth.  "…sorrow…" -- Are you kidding me?  Sorrow would have been her being stuck here after her assignment was done.  "… pain." -- We, from our first breath of birth, are guaranteed achieving at least one goal in life and that's death.  We all will accomplish it, the journey on the way is up to us and how well we live out our days on Earth.  So I  knew it was a definite goal and my mom would strive to succeed at it giving Him her absolute best -- which she did.  The only pain I've really experienced is right now and its the chill as the temperature drops and I sit outside writing this wishing I had a blanket or warm fire … but that's not grief related.

So again, I look at the definitions of grief -- the World's definitions.  They don't apply in this situation.  I know my mom and I are just His Foreign Ambassadors doing our assignment here so we can go home. This is just temporary.  I was blessed with a lifetime of her love, mentoring, nurturing, comforting me, encouraging, praying and speaking into my family - my amazing husband and awesome sons - as well as all the spiritual children and people He brought into our lives.  I was given an amazing gift of a little over 22 months to love on, honor and give back to my mom before she completed her assignment.  I played games with my mom, laughed with my mom, cried tears of joy and sorrow, prayed, prayed … and prayed with my mom .  I got to share new levels of light He imparted to me because of the high mantle she achieved and launched me from.  She lead as Jesus lead -- from behind, encouraging, supporting and launching me to be able to do all she knew and could do and even more.  She praised with me and celebrated all God has, is and has yet planned to do in our lives and ministry.  She lived through me.  She dreamed with me.  She laughed with me.  She praised Him with me.  She prayed WITH and FOR me.  I chose to honor her and celebrate her life while she was still living it.  We laughed together.  God allowed me to speak into my mom and right wrong perceptions or false truths that she was under.  We loved together.  We laughter together.  We praised together.  We laughed together.  We prayed together.  We laughter together.  His Joy was not a stranger to us.

When Holy Spirit opened my eyes that my mom had no clue the impact she had on this Earth for His Kingdom -- I began a purposeful celebration of her life by requesting friends and family to express the way my mom impacted their lives.  When the emails, cards, letters, Facebook comments began to come in, we would read them.  She looked at me and asked where all this was coming from and why.  With all the love in my heart I told her that I firmly believed she would benefit more by celebrating and acknowledging the impact she has and had on people's lives  while she was still alive rather than after she was dead.  She laughingly agreed with me.  I firmly believed in Celebrating her while she was with us and could enjoy it and laugh with us rather than later when frankly, she wouldn't care and it wouldn't matter to her.  Sooooo …. CELEBRATE mom we did.  Even during her two days of silent resting in preparation for her end of assignment promotion Holy Spirit lead me to speak all the appreciation and thankfulness for all the things He brought to mind that my mom did.  I had 48 hours of speaking into my mom's spirit and was blessed beyond blessed and could have continued on if time allowed as there was still far more she did but … the eternal rewards and treasures covered the rest.

So,  I'm finding myself thinking there is nothing to grieve.  I have no regrets or uncompleted issues with my mom.  She lives on in and through me.  She is a part of me, my husband and my sons and that is to be celebrated and praised.  I may experience moments of homesickness - but I did that while I was growing up when we were apart and we were always reunited which we will be this time too.  I am choosing to praise and celebrate my mom and laugh with her even while she is at Home waiting for me to get there.

My mom dreamed and prayed with me as God revealed to us His plans of having us steward His yet to come retreat and healing refuge.  I feel my mom's completing her assignment and going Home was/is a gift to our family so we could freely, whole-heartedly go after pleasing God by starting this new season and level of ministry.  It overwhelms me all the plans God has shared, is sharing and reveals and blows me away as I know its just a glimpse of what He has planned if we just continue to say "Yes".  My faith and belief are ever growing because as in every situation in the past, He positions us so He is strongest in our weakness allowing all the glory to go to Him.  We know what and where He is leading we can't obtain or do on our own … but our God whom we love and serve can and already has it covered. We just need to submit ourselves, say "Yes", get out of His way and hang on!  He's always provided and lead us well, far beyond anything we could imagine and He keeps expanding our ability to imagine.  Wow!

Thank you Mom and Thank you God for giving me such a role model to walk out You for me.

Let's CELEBRATE!

                                … And that's How Grieving my Mom HIS WAY looks like for me.

I wonder what Insight Hut He has in mind tomorrow and what the insight will be.  Nothing but joy and anticipation from me!

Submission (submit, submitted, submitting)

Hebrew word used in Hebrews 13:17 -- to be straightforward with.

Hebrews 13:17 (ESV) “17Obey(AD) your leaders and submit to them,(AE) for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to(AF) give an account.(AG) Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

Greek word used in James 4:7, I Peter 2:13 and 5:5 -- hupotusso -- to subordinate; to obey – be under obedience, put under, subdue unto; be subjected to, submit self unto.

James 4:7 (ESV) “7Submit yourselves therefore to God.(A) Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

I Peter 2:13-15 (NIV) “13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.”

I Peter 5:1-10 “1 To the elders among you, I appeal (exhort) as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: 2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. 5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”[a] 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. “

Submission is an action, a choice. It is an action that we take whether consciously or unconsciously. We choose what or whom we are going to submit to (give authority or control to) with our emotions, with our time, with our money, with our possessions. We choose who we are going to give authority over our emotions. We choose who we are going to give authority over our time. We choose who we are giving authority over our money. We choose who we are going to give authority over our possessions. Absolutely everything in our life is based on a choice. We choose who we are going to serve or be a slave too. It is an action that in not making a choice you are still making a choice. For example, in not choosing God you are choosing Satan. Another example, When you are not walking a lifestyle that focuses on bringing glory and praise to God then you are choosing to walk in a lifestyle that focuses on self and what makes you feel good or allows you to take up your time and numb your mind and heart to its secret yearnings of being loved by the God of love. Yet another example, when you shut the door to your home you choose when to open it and who or what you allow in. When you don’t shut the door, leaving it cracked or wide open, then you are allowing whomever and whatever to enter into your home whether it be an edifying person, an evil person, a sweet loving pet or an evil poisonous snake. In every aspect of your life you choose to take authority over what you allow or you choose to give up the choice and allow whomever or whatever wants, to come in and take authority.

As for me personally, I have unfortunately in my past allowed myself to be robbed by the enemy when I have chosen not to taken authority and make choices in my life. During those times that I didn’t take authority and make a decision, I now understand that I was not focused, feeling worthless and/or walking in fear and allowed the enemy to chose for me. All of which is not operating in the Lord. He does not give us a spirit of fear but He gives us love, power and a sound mind. In Isaiah 11:2 it is written, “2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD—“. God did not create us to be worthless, He empowers us. In Romans 8:14-16 (NIV) it is written, “ 14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,[b] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. (Footnotes: Romans 8:15 The Greek word for adoption to sonship is a term referring to the full legal standing of an adopted male heir in Roman culture; also in verse 23.) Thus He created us in His own image giving us through the blood of Jesus Christ authority and dominion over all things if we choose (submit) to be adopted by Him. God created us all with an intense desire to love Him and worship Him which is why we only find and feel emptiness when we submit to the worldly pleasures of lust and self-fulfillment.

I thank God that He loves me unconditionally and doesn’t ever revoke(unadopt) my being a Child of God just because I make a mistake or a poor choice. I know I am loved unconditionally and am reassured that as I travel the road of living fully in Christ, He looks on me with pride and love every time I take a step. Even when I stumble and fall down, because with His help I am always able to get back up, repent and keep moving forward in my sole life purpose of loving and worshiping Him. But wait! There’s more! I get the added BONUS because all the love He showers on me is manifested through me to any and all who cross my path. God’s bonus of loving one another. And all at one great price … FREE! I absolutely must make sure that all I know (and even those I don't know yet!) get this great lifetime deal!! I am gratefully and willingly submitted to His authority, power and love.