161116 Personal Word for another

I am honored to be asked to present you with the gifts of Clove essential oil, Orange essential oil and Sacred Frankincense essential oil to help feed the temple of the Holy Spirit, your body (mind, body, emotions, and spirit).

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NKJV)

19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Clove essential oil: 

The past of lashing out is behind you and broken off you.  Holy Spirit is expanding you and growing you in your discretion.  His truth comes through you.  Your words, your daily actions, even your secret place actions … your entire life walk … speaks His truth in and through your life to those that will see nor receive any other way; as well as impacts those that are open, willing to receive. 

2 Corinthians 11:3 (AMP)

But I am afraid that, even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, your minds may be corrupted and led away from the simplicity of [your sincere and] pure devotion to Christ. 

This is a verse that was impressed upon my heart for you and your Spirit led passion for self and others.  I feel there is more in this chapter however that is a special place for you and God to walk. 

Orange essential oil:

Ridicule is no longer able to impact you.  God is applauding you.  Walk boldly, head held high in honor because of the choices and stances you have made and continue to make with every breath you take. 

     1 Samuel 2:35-36

     ³⁵ Then I will raise up for Myself a faithful priest who shall do according to what is in My heart        and in My mind. I will build him a sure house, and he shall walk before My anointed                        forever. ³⁶ And it shall come to pass that everyone who is left in your house will come and bow          down to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread, and say, “Please, put me in one of the            priestly positions, that I may eat a piece of bread.”’”

Sacred Frankincense essential oil:

You are directed and are fully taking back 100% of your movement as you are solely Holy Spirit led. 

Isaiah 30:21 New King James Version (NKJV)

²¹ Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
“This is the way, walk in it,”
Whenever you turn to the right hand
Or whenever you turn to the left.

The World and those who love you (but have their own expectations of and for you) that are not in alignment with God’s direction for you, they are choosing to place themselves outside of your life and it is their choice not yours.  Follow God and Joshua’s example by continuing to love them and letting them go. 

Joshua 24:15 (AMP)

If it is unacceptable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River; or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you live; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." 

Your choice is to follow the Lord and you do it boldly with warrior confidence.  The blessings of your obedience will fill to overflowing any empty places in your life that are created by those who chose other. 

KNOW who HE SAYS you are.  Know and understand that you have His approval. See yourself as He sees you in how much He loves and values you. 

Proverbs 31:10 (AMP)

An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous], who is he who can find her?
Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls.

You are a true Proverbs 31 woman (not a cliché) who grows and expands with every breath and thought.  You seek and have His approval.  You know His value in you and your value in Him.  You are continually reaching new levels because you choose to allow Him to take you to higher, deeper, wider and beyond levels. 

I speak Psalms 1 over you that you may be detached and submitted to God to stand in your power under His authority because you know that:

Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] are you, , who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked [following their advice and example],
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit [down to rest] in the seat of ^[b]scoffers (ridiculers).
 
, YOUR delight is in the law of the Lord,
And on His law [His precepts and teachings] you, , [habitually] meditate day and night.

And you, , will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by [never ending, abundant, living] streams of water,
You, , yield your fruit in its season;
Your leaf does not wither;
And in whatever you do, , you prosper [and come to maturity].

To God be the glory.  So Be It!

Life lesson Ponder point of frozen water lines

Life Lesson / Ponder point:

So as many are aware, our water froze up Sunday while we were gone to church and other meetings.  It has been a fun challenge of life without water but as always there is growth and victory.

Here's my insight challenge:

Our faucet was wrapped and insulated, electric water hose with heat strip, heater in the underneath storage compartment (we call basement) - everything set up for cold.  However, life throws curve balls.  Who knew that inside this faucet and piping were rusted, corroded areas that at the most inopportune time would release chunks of rust into the flowing stream of water.  As a protective and health mechanism we have a screen to filter before it enters the hose as well as two different filters on our RV for it to go through before we consume.  Sometimes protective measures that are not kept in check can collect the debris as intended but if not cleaned routinely  the screen fills up with the junk which diminishes pressure and water flow.  The restrictred flow builds up pressure at the filter screen which then applies excess back pressure bringing attention to the weakest part of the system which then does what any solid mass will do, explodes or splits or as some would say 'rips a new one'.  At this point what was to keep fluid flowing through the hose is being released everywhere but where its suppose to be going, thus causing shut down and blockage or in this case ice in the hose supply and a beautiful (if you're observing from a heated area) ice sculpture.  However this ice sculpture is not usable as a centerpiece (unless it's a plumbers convention at an ice rink).  It becomes yet another hinderance in being able to make needed repairs bringing more work, delay and time spent in obviously freezing cold temperatures.  

This so resembles our life.  We have hurts and baggage from the past that has been buried and not dealt with.  We have protective mechanisms that we put up to protect ourselves.  However these protective mechanisms often times keeps God and the ability to heal out too.  Then at the most inopportune time, something breaks loose and totally causes us to pressurize and explode or "rip a new one".  This then brings even more damage requiring repair/healing.  The apparent outside damage can often distort and put the focus of need in the wrong areas neglecting the original root cause.  This in turn can bring delay that is misconstrued as inability to heal as you are going after the side effects and not the root.  Often times people get discouraged chasing the outside damage and give up before getting to the root cause and healing needed and give up, quit.  Falling into the lie that they are beyond help, they can't be healed, losing hope.  This is a lie of the enemy and not truth.

God has blessed me with loving me through past abuse and healing which has the victory in using the knowledge and experience gained to be able to walk through the valleys with others.  He has create me with a passion and love for others and has given me the desire to look beyond the outer appearance and go for the root cause to allow Him to work in and through me and our family to help others find their victory and freedom in Him.  To be a life line of hope.

I am so thankful for the insight, downloads, visions, knowledge, experience, tools and training He has given me, my family.  He never ceases to amaze me in what depths of darkness He can break through with using the Holy Spirit's guidance of His scripture promises, prayer and essential oils.  When He brings someone into my life to love and minister to in scripture, prayer and oils ... I never know what it's going to look like but I do know that when I say "Yes" to Him and follow His leading, victory is always there.  He is very creative.  In ministering to leadership He takes and heals the wounded but He also takes the healthy and makes them even stronger.  Not only does he bless and heal the hurting, I also receive His blessing in my obedience to His calling.

The end of 2015 and beginning of 2016 brought such a deep urgency and intensity to no longer be complacent and wait for others to come and ask.  2016 is a year to go forth boldly and help free others from past bondage so they can have more time of LIVING and more ability to GIVE to others.

What areas of your past is He asking you to lay down and break free from?  Our family is here to help you or connect you with others who can help you.  Stand on His promise to you that He has victory in every situation.  2016 is the time to stop being a VICTOM and start being the VICTOR.

Don't delay, plant your feet and go after your VICTORY.  If God lays it on your heart for us to help, then make the effort and reach out to us.  We are honored and blessed to help.

Here's to LIFE VICTORY in 2016!

Essential oil tool:
Young Living Envision
- to help support breaking off confinement and overwhelmed and releasing freedom and vision.

Highlighted scripture:
I Peter 3:1
Our actions are what influence and win even the hardest of those closest to us.  How we walk challenges out speaks louder than our words.

www.BeHealthyHisWay.com or http://bit.ly/1RTniVs to purchase Envision essential oil and help support our ministry.

How's your lamp shining?

John 1:6-8 HNV "There came a man, sent from God, whose name was Yochanan [John}. The same came as a witness, that he might testify about the light, that all might believe through him.  He was not the light, but was sent that he might testify about the light."

We are sent from God as a witness that we might testify about the light, that all might believe through us.  Wow!  What an impact that scripture has made on me.  I, like Yochanan [John] am a lamp that shines the Light [Christ].  So … I have to stop and ask, how am I doing?  How well is my lamp reflecting the light of Christ?  Are others believing because of how I am living my life? my choices? my actions? my love for self? my love for others? my ability to forgive myself? to forgive others? 

What type of lamp light was I created to be?  What type of lamp light am I actually being?  

Here are just a few that have come to mind:

A light controlled by a switch - either fully on or fully off.  

A dimmer light - Either fully off or when on, on at varying degrees of brightness from barely there to full on bright or somewhere in between.  

A hazard flashing light - Only used when there is a problem.

A blinker - on one moment and off the next.  Only used when making a deviation from the path and even then not always being turned on when deviating and making a direction change.

A headlight - If old style - only on when turned on at night (in today's times that's if one remembers to turn it on or someone warns and flashes that we are proceeding without light).  If modern style then we are on all of the time but still primary use is during the night or stormy times to light the way  immediately in front of us on our journey.  We can be low density (which many drive using all the time instead of using the high density bright lights and having to remember to "dim" our headlights when others are approaching.) or high density bright beam lights. 

Christmas lights - All pretty and colorful, either solid or twinkling with part of us on at all times for the season; however once the season is over we are packed away for all the other seasons until our one season comes around again.  

A lighthouse - Shining 24/7 for others to help navigate, giving direction and keeping their paths focused on God, aware of and avoiding snares/traps/dangers.   There for all to use and giving 100% even though you may never know those that were directed by the light that shined through you.  

A search light - Radiant light that pierces the sky to be seen for miles and miles to draw others to come and find out what is the big deal.  We aren't the big deal but our lives reflecting His goodness and greatness through us draw others near so that they can come and meet Him for themselves receiving His salvation,  focusing on Him, believing Him, knowing Him, loving Him, walking with Him, partaking in His fullness.  He is the BIG DEAL.   

I also must ask myself, am I tending my lamp properly and to my best ability?  Am I keeping it in good operational shape - trimming the wick, keeping the oil full, prepared to be lit as He beacons?  Or am I busy running after other things or world busyness that I am too tired or distracted to make sure I am fulfilling the reason I was sent. Am I living such that anyone would see Christ in and through me and choose to believe in Him?  Am I drawing others to Christ or am I part of the attack of the busyness to distract and keep them away from Him?  No matter what, when you stop and look at it, you are either living so others can believe because of you OR you are living so that others are in unbelief and lost.  You're either for or against, there's no fence riding.  What an amazing love and confidence Christ has in us to give us such an impact on all His precious children young and old.  

Honestly, my life in and love for Christ has grown so much during my years; however I can see myself in each of the different types of lights.  I have had to stop, repent and ask His forgiveness for not living up to my best at the different stages of my life.  In this new awareness I strive to live more fully reflecting Him through me so others are not delayed in their belief because of me and my action or lack of action.  I am exhilarated with the simple understanding that I am here to be a lamp testifying of His light so others may come to Him and know Him.  As easy and simplistic as that is, I find myself knowing that every time i achieve my best He will then give me more wisdom and knowledge that will always keep me reaching and obtaining new levels of best in Him.  He will always keep leading me on in great anticipation of new levels of awe all my days as His lamp on this Earth.   I must keep Christ perspective that obtaining our best is a great thing and opens us up to continual new levels of best.  And if I stumble, then I must get up, repent, learn and keep moving forward and upward.   I must make a point to not adopt the world's perspective that we're never good enough no matter how hard we try, that our best just means failure as more is always expected.  For me, it is an awesome promise that He always has more for me so that in my pursuit of knowing Him I will never tire nor reach an end.  I am only limited by what I myself limit myself.  Hmm, to totally understand that fully - that I am the only thing holding me back.    With Him the possibilities and expansion is unlimited!  Thank you God!!  

Reconciled or Unreconciled?

Our Foreign Ambassador assignment or job description while we are serving here on Earth:

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

Definition from Freedictionary.com:

rec·on·cile  (rkn-sl) v. rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing, rec·on·ciles v.tr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship between. 2. To settle or resolve. 3. To bring (oneself) to accept: He finally reconciled himself to the change in management. 4. To make compatible or consistent: reconcile my way of thinking with yours. See Synonyms at adapt. v.intr. 1. To reestablish a close relationship, as in marriage: The estranged couple reconciled after a year. 2. To become compatible or consistent: The figures would not reconcile.

For us to be able to walk out this assignment, we need to make sure that we are walking reconciled with God so that we can, through our daily walk/life, witness to others on how to be reconciled through our actions and not just our words. Once we are walking in a close relationship with God our lives will speak for us and reflect His love to others especially those that are hurting and distanced from God. For others to know that God is capable of forgiving them and being in relationship with them they need to see that we are able to ask God for forgiveness AND forgive ourselves and others, repent - walking out the consequences of righting the relationship and leave it in the past as forgotten and paid in full by the blood of Christ.

So, in preparation for your final job evaluation, take time now and do a personal review. Are you reconciled or unreconciled?  

Insight Hut #123 - What Does Grieving My Mom Your way Lord look life for me?

Today the journey started with healing ministry class at Faith Life Church with Brother Joey Woodward beginning a new teaching on "Hope in God".  Just another fine example that God leads you and gives you the insight teaching He desires to expand in you when you listen and say "Yes" to Him -- even when you don't know what you're fully saying "Yes" too!  It's always, always worth the step of faith to say "Yes".  He's never lead me wrong yet and always gets me out of or through challenges I get myself in to if I lose focus and wander a bit.  I will possibly share more about Brother Joey's teaching - however for clip notes, it covered Colossians 1 entirely and Romans 15:13 and concluded with he and his lovely wife praying with me as God brings this next season of His retreat and healing refuge from a thought (that he gave to Malachi when he was about 2 yrs old and Randy and I about that same time frame too) to a BE.  After the teaching we were speaking and I shared my quest for grieving my mom His Way and my struggle of what that looked like, Brother Joey spoke the word O death where is they sting.  I Cor 15:55.  It rang affirmative with my spirit … there was no sting in my mom's death.

So, after a refreshing rest this afternoon, I now find myself lead to Insight Hut #123.  And lead I was.  There are so many to pick from but every time I tried to settle for another Hut He prodded me on to receive His best or fullness of Insight Hut #123.  As I come up to it I can tell its not been used often.  The leaves are built up more than any of the others.  The table is covered with debris and dust webs from lack of use.  There are at least 10 other Insight Huts in view yet this one stands very much alone.  The trees are mostly young saplings with some mature but not predominant trees.  (Represents those stuck in grief mode?)

It would appear that grieving is a time or season you do alone, possibly in proximity of others grieving but each person is unique in its journey so thus alone.  You can take heart that others have been here before you and may be on the journey now so even though you're alone, you're not truly alone or abandoned.  You can walk your individual journey along side others who are walking their own personal journey.  Just keep your eyes and focus on your journey and don't compare to anyone else's!  Otherwise you might get lost in the journey of grief and stay longer than you should or need or even worse, plant your roots and remain the rest of your earthly days.

The many saplings speak a time of tenderness and newness to me.  This is a new season of life, a new start.  In the case for me its a new season …. of living as His Ambassador in this foreign land without my physical mentor, my nurturer, my comforter … my precious mother.  She's been there for me since before my first breath.  She loved me from the moment she knew God was creating me inside of her.  Okay, her thoughts and words might not have been so loving and kind when she though I was a violent flu; however as soon as she knew it wasn't the flu and wouldn't pass but be in her life for the rest of her life … SHE LOVED ME!!!  What insight and revelation of God's love to me.  Except we went from 1) being His thought to 2) BEing and there was no ill thought of flu, discomfort of sickness, no dread, no icky (technical term) feeling … just pure love, joy and delight at His creation.  Wow!  And I've been honored to be a mom and experience that intimacy of love.  Thank you God, I'm so humbled and will strive more to love fuller my family and those you bring to us to love.

So here I am again … What does grieving my mom Your way Lord look like for me?  I want to get it done and launch fully whole into this new season.  Just like my mom, I chase after Him seeking to please Him and honor Him.

So … if in doubt, look up the definition to identify or define according to some dictionary what the baseline or meaning of the word is -- it even gives you different tenses i.e. noun, verb, past, present, transferal? (I think I missed English that day!)

GRIEF:  to cause great distress or sorrow.

SORROW:  a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain.

So … here I sit pondering those definitions.  "SORROW: a feeling of deep distress caused by loss ..."  Hmmm, I didn't lose my mom.  I know where she is.  She fulfilled her assignment in this foreign land and was able to return home to hear "Well Done".  "… disappointment …" my mom's life was anything but a disappointment.  Her life walk inspired all (even sometimes when I fathered it didn't).  I experienced moments of sadness while she was till alive when I looked at the challenges of life she lived in, the abuse, the neglect, the sacrifices … but wait!  There's more!!! (And no extra shipping charge either!  God already took care of that fee.)  The Lord brought to mind we either receive our rewards and treasures here on Earth OR we store up eternal rewards and treasures in Heaven.  My mom so got that and choose an eternity of rewards and treasures rather than Earthly ones that break, have be be cleaned, replaced, moved, etc.  "… or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others."  Suffered - yeah she went through some intense pain in the flesh in the final month but her sweetness remained and she endured for  His gain praising Him through the pain and tears.  If you read her obituary then you know her passing had no part of suffering or distress and honestly -- it was so sweet and anointed it brought great joy to both Randy and I that we were witness to her eyes being opened to the Heavens and her pure vocal response in seeing her Savior and Lord, her Comforter, her Provider, her Lover and the wealth of rewards and treasures she honestly in her humility had no clue were awaiting her.

Randy and I were so humbled that He loved us and let us witness it.  That I got to hold her and kiss her goodbye as she prayed / conversed with God in a language only He understands then sang her way into Heaven while I held her physical body that housed her spirit until He received her spirit in His arms with the ultimate, long awaited hug from One who was dearer to her than any other.  No greater love have I witnessed or felt.  Even now these tears I'm shedding are tears of thanksgiving, of being so humbled that He allowed me, little (okay maybe not so much presently) ole me to hold her and hand her over to Him.  The One i know and trust.  The One who loves my mom even more than I.  Suffering or distress?  Absolutely NOT!  It was like receiving top honor or recognition … and I was just being who He created me to be, loving as He poured in to me, tending, serving the mentor He purposefully chose for me.

"DISTRESS:  extreme anxiety …" …. Nope!  We knew where she was going and it's far better than any taste of Heaven she may or may not have had on this Earth.  "…sorrow…" -- Are you kidding me?  Sorrow would have been her being stuck here after her assignment was done.  "… pain." -- We, from our first breath of birth, are guaranteed achieving at least one goal in life and that's death.  We all will accomplish it, the journey on the way is up to us and how well we live out our days on Earth.  So I  knew it was a definite goal and my mom would strive to succeed at it giving Him her absolute best -- which she did.  The only pain I've really experienced is right now and its the chill as the temperature drops and I sit outside writing this wishing I had a blanket or warm fire … but that's not grief related.

So again, I look at the definitions of grief -- the World's definitions.  They don't apply in this situation.  I know my mom and I are just His Foreign Ambassadors doing our assignment here so we can go home. This is just temporary.  I was blessed with a lifetime of her love, mentoring, nurturing, comforting me, encouraging, praying and speaking into my family - my amazing husband and awesome sons - as well as all the spiritual children and people He brought into our lives.  I was given an amazing gift of a little over 22 months to love on, honor and give back to my mom before she completed her assignment.  I played games with my mom, laughed with my mom, cried tears of joy and sorrow, prayed, prayed … and prayed with my mom .  I got to share new levels of light He imparted to me because of the high mantle she achieved and launched me from.  She lead as Jesus lead -- from behind, encouraging, supporting and launching me to be able to do all she knew and could do and even more.  She praised with me and celebrated all God has, is and has yet planned to do in our lives and ministry.  She lived through me.  She dreamed with me.  She laughed with me.  She praised Him with me.  She prayed WITH and FOR me.  I chose to honor her and celebrate her life while she was still living it.  We laughed together.  God allowed me to speak into my mom and right wrong perceptions or false truths that she was under.  We loved together.  We laughter together.  We praised together.  We laughed together.  We prayed together.  We laughter together.  His Joy was not a stranger to us.

When Holy Spirit opened my eyes that my mom had no clue the impact she had on this Earth for His Kingdom -- I began a purposeful celebration of her life by requesting friends and family to express the way my mom impacted their lives.  When the emails, cards, letters, Facebook comments began to come in, we would read them.  She looked at me and asked where all this was coming from and why.  With all the love in my heart I told her that I firmly believed she would benefit more by celebrating and acknowledging the impact she has and had on people's lives  while she was still alive rather than after she was dead.  She laughingly agreed with me.  I firmly believed in Celebrating her while she was with us and could enjoy it and laugh with us rather than later when frankly, she wouldn't care and it wouldn't matter to her.  Sooooo …. CELEBRATE mom we did.  Even during her two days of silent resting in preparation for her end of assignment promotion Holy Spirit lead me to speak all the appreciation and thankfulness for all the things He brought to mind that my mom did.  I had 48 hours of speaking into my mom's spirit and was blessed beyond blessed and could have continued on if time allowed as there was still far more she did but … the eternal rewards and treasures covered the rest.

So,  I'm finding myself thinking there is nothing to grieve.  I have no regrets or uncompleted issues with my mom.  She lives on in and through me.  She is a part of me, my husband and my sons and that is to be celebrated and praised.  I may experience moments of homesickness - but I did that while I was growing up when we were apart and we were always reunited which we will be this time too.  I am choosing to praise and celebrate my mom and laugh with her even while she is at Home waiting for me to get there.

My mom dreamed and prayed with me as God revealed to us His plans of having us steward His yet to come retreat and healing refuge.  I feel my mom's completing her assignment and going Home was/is a gift to our family so we could freely, whole-heartedly go after pleasing God by starting this new season and level of ministry.  It overwhelms me all the plans God has shared, is sharing and reveals and blows me away as I know its just a glimpse of what He has planned if we just continue to say "Yes".  My faith and belief are ever growing because as in every situation in the past, He positions us so He is strongest in our weakness allowing all the glory to go to Him.  We know what and where He is leading we can't obtain or do on our own … but our God whom we love and serve can and already has it covered. We just need to submit ourselves, say "Yes", get out of His way and hang on!  He's always provided and lead us well, far beyond anything we could imagine and He keeps expanding our ability to imagine.  Wow!

Thank you Mom and Thank you God for giving me such a role model to walk out You for me.

Let's CELEBRATE!

                                … And that's How Grieving my Mom HIS WAY looks like for me.

I wonder what Insight Hut He has in mind tomorrow and what the insight will be.  Nothing but joy and anticipation from me!

What does grieving my mom according to You look like for me? Insight Hut #150

27 October 2014

Compton Campground

Insight Hut #150

Branson MO

Today is the first day for me to be totally away from all who need loved, ministered to and whatever else since my precious mother's passing Monday, October 13, when she sung her way into Heaven and I was able to hand her over to God's loving arms at 7:17 am. Truly His Joy does come in the morning!

My amazing husband responded to my inability to be able to put healthy boundaries up (from others expectations, needs, demands, desires to love me as they wanted or needed to whether due to not knowing me and how I process or just needing to fulfill their own needs, etc) so I could center in and make sure I grieve as God intends instead of putting my needs aside for others and pushing through or burying inside. I totally, with my husband and sons agreement, gave my absolute all to my mom this past six months and almost exclusively the final month of her life with the finals weeks of not leaving her room except twice for appointments I couldn't reschedule. It was a sweet time however it also depleted my physical health.

So … here I sit in God's presence in Hut #150 in a remote county and city from home and my loved ones (I need to research that # significance as He was specific this hut, this time.) laying myself open before God at His throne asking, “What does grieving my mom look like according to You for me?”

After sitting on top the table and praying, I just sit in His beauty and … just BE. As I gaze out across the beauty of the fall foliage, trees of varying sizes and colors, He first brings into focus 3 sturdy, tall, prominent dark trees that stand out amidst the forest. The beauty and stature of the trees, out of all the many shapes, colors, statures of the trees, these three stand out predominately. I sense the closest to me represents my husband, Randy, who God has filled my life and blessed me with as a life mate. During this time with my mom he has grown and covered me like never before in my life. He has cried with me celebration tears after her passing and different times since. Like the tree, he is sturdy and tall, not perfect, not rigidly straight but purposeful and successfully focused at going ever upward to connect and be fed by the The Son, not twisted or tangled with the other trees of the forest, not handicapped nor marred by the challenges of his development.

Just beyond or past this tree are two of the same prominent type trees of just a tad smaller stature. They signify our sons, Josiah and Malachi. They are sheltered under the covering of the larger tree; however standing solidly alone in close proximity to each other as they are prepared to be predominate in the forest. They have been nurtured and allowed to develop into strong, sturdy, well-rooted trees that are no longer just under the coverage of their father tree but now in union and focused on reaching and staying in connection with The Son in their own personal relationship yet in communion with each other. They too are not twisted, gnarled or deformed. Not perfect and rigidly straight but always moving upward in growth.

I marvel at how despite Randy and I's being human, making choices and settling for less than His best, and being human battling the flesh as we strive to serve God, know Him more intimately and minister to those He brings to our lives, God has covered our sons through us with the aid of others to develop them as the mighty warriors God created them to be. Satan has been trying to wear me down by pointing out all the sacrifices and times the boys have done or gone without so we could, as a family, love on others as He leads. The times when I should have, would have, could have. Pointing out how we did't have purposeful Christlike boundaries in place so the boys and our family are/have been exposed to abusers, depleters, attackers, leeches, saboteurs, suckers, well-intended but not Christ directed deeds, busyness, etc. The burden is heavy when I allow my ear to listen to that, seeing all the errors and short comings of our choices. It brings the feeling of doom and gloom, of failing those we love the most that were given to us as our #1 mission field. Then (thank you God!) with just a breath or a blink of an eye, I choose to see with His Christ Perspective and I see how through all the challenges and abuse we all, including our sons, have grown and become stronger warriors learning from the goodness and the attacks. It has helped strengthen and develop character in each one of us. We have learned 'how to' and 'how not to' do by real life examples with sometimes Randy and I being the best examples of how not to do something! (Praise God our sons love us.) These times have taken our roots to deeper levels and continues to develop, deepen and spread out to allow us to ever continue growing and soaring in relationship with The Son. All these attacks or blights of the enemy have not marred their development but added to and expanded who they are, who we are as parents and who we are as a family. He is ever faithful.

My focus is then directed to smaller white birch and other variety trees and their colorful presence across the way. The Lord shows me as Randy and I strive continually to raise our knowledge, understanding and mantle for Christ that our sons are to launch from – the boys are being covered and raised to higher, deeper levels in Him as well. All of this and the overflow of God's love of, in and through us spreads out to help nurture, develop and feed others that God brings into our lives and ministry home. Each with their own purpose and direction that are blessed and grown/expanded by His presence in and on us that overflows to meet and fill their individual areas of need and growth. We love them all no matter their size, situation or stature. Some are thin vines that depend on others to hold them up but yet they still are intent on climbing higher. Others are bare branches, others full of leaves and fruit, some bland and some vibrant. Some have lost direction and are bent down, others have succumbed to hurts/wounds and developed no further or died completely. Through all this God shows me that we are an important part of His Kingdom. Even those that choose to give up and die bring His victory as the goodness from their nutrients from them returning to the earth help create rich soil for others to grow from. As we focus and grow in Him setting our mantle ever higher, as we grow in new light and knowledge to cover and launch our sons from … others are also fed by Him through us to the extent that they are willing to open up and receive. Some up close in relationship and others from a far just watching our walk and daily lives. What a humbling and heavy responsibility. Makes my seeking how to walk out grieving my mom His way even more important. Makes learning how to love ourselves so we can love our neighbors best even more of a priority. Makes my words and actions even more important and accountable even when I think no one is probably looking.

As I continue to delight in His revelations in nature He draws my attention to the sound and feel of the breeze. It started gently, softly moving just a few trees that were open and flexible to allow it to move them. As time continues it is growing as the wind picks up and other trees join in. It's almost like a “wave” that starts in one area and spreads to another. Like a single chorus that then develops into a musical round. The sweetness and now the beauty as the trees are beginning to sway and dance more with others joining in. The trees God showed as our family are ever so peacefully, gracefully flowing back and forth to the movement of the music. Those trees that are surrounding near and far are being nurtured, expanded and encouraged to join in more freely and vigorously in praising the mighty One. There are some who are boldly moving, those that are timid and those that are just observing the others. Each are able to learn from those that are further in development, learning how to be more open and flexible to flow with the Holy Spirit … or choose to stay stiff and unyielding, breaking under the challenges, decaying and eventually rotting to return nutrients to the ground to feed the other living trees – yet again an example of God's victory in even the darkest choices. It takes each one in their individually different levels and forms of worship to preform this beautiful display and sound of God and His mighty Love for each one of us, no matter where we are or what we have done. We each one have been specifically created from His thought of who we are and have an important part of what He is doing in His Kingdom. You do matter. He yearns for you to give Him whatever love and adoration you are capable of at the moment and loves you even when you are loving and adoring something or someone else. He is a patient God and waits with anticipation for you … even to your dying breath.

With the increased breeze I'm being lead to go seek warmer covering. So, on that note … I shall return to continue the quest of “What does grieving my mom look like according to You for me?”. Thanks to those who are prayerfully lifting me up during this journey. I love you and speak blessings for your faithfulness. Wonder what Hut # and insight He has already planned for me next!

Tools and Life Lessons

We were so absolutely blessed to get to go to my parent’s home this weekend for a fast 30 hour visit. During this time we were also able to get to meet up with my brother and sister-in-law who live and serve among the Navajo in the Arizona/New Mexico area. It was such a short time but yet God enabled us to get a lot done and to get to touch the hearts and feet of my parents. He also met me there and downloaded insight to me in even the smallest things. I just love seeing how He chooses to open my eyes and mind to things He sees and feels.



Saturday after my parents, my brother and our family went to eat lunch together, I was honored with getting to take my mom shopping for some new shoes. Years ago my mom suffered a brain stem stroke that left her with a left-sided deficit making things that once were easy a big task now. Shopping is something I did not grow up doing, not sure if it was due to not enjoying it or not have finances or both. However, with my mom and I, it’s not something on our top list of things to do. Needless to say, this afternoon of shopping for shoes to fit over her AFO brace was one filled with much needed laughter on both of our parts. It was so much fun to get to freely laugh with my mom. She has been blessed with an electric scooter which we took out to assist in prolonging her physical stamina (she doesn’t get out much so it’s physically exhausting). However, with this new tool, she needed experience to increase her operating skills. It was a precious time for me to get to watch my mom concentrate and work hard on trying to figure out how to make that little “joystick” on her scooter take her scooter and thus her, where she needed it to go. It was such a joy to get to watch, wait, and see her accomplishment when she was able to use her new “tool” to make her life more full or accessible. I was so proud of her and how she never gave up or got overly frustrated. It was an honor to be there and quietly, patiently assist her (like I have much experience using joysticks … my boys have far more knowledge there!) with what I could see from my angle that would make things work better for her in different situations. During her learning time of maneuvering in and out of bathroom stalls, elevators, narrow aisles, etc I spent a lot of time just watching and praying so as not to interfere with her focus. However, there were situations where I was able to giggle with my mom (a much better thing then getting frustrated and angry!). I was also able to pass on the peace, pride and joy of her new accomplishment with her scooter with people that entered into our paths (however haphazardly!) It was amazing to see people’s demeanor change when they found out my mom had a new tool and was learning to use it. They were much more supportive and most times would depart from our presence with a new smile on their face and some a bounce in their step. Wow, to imagine, while learning to use a new tool, my mom was able to be used by God to uplift others in ways we will never know. We all have experience with learning to use a new tool and the sense of accomplishment that comes with it once we master it. I sense that many were reminded of the good feelings they experienced at such a time in their life.



But wait! There’s more! God has many years ago spoken in to my life about making sure I’m not comparing myself to anyone else... just the me He has created me to be. I am to always measure myself against my own personal measuring stick to see my growth. He has created us each unique and we are all at different growth levels so only comparable to ourselves. I totally enjoy the fact that I am at peace with what He’s doing in and through my life. I love how He edifies others through me just being the person He created me to be (and how He feeds me in return). In learning to measure my growth against myself and no one else, I’m encouraged with what He’s doing and thus respond with peace, joy, patience, His love and so much more instead of the frustration, intolerance, bad attitude and all that comes when trying to compare with someone else and never measuring up or having a positive comparison. It’s makes for a much more pleasant life no matter what challenges cross life’s path.



Talking about challenges … my mom was a trooper in laughing through my consistency and being patient with me. After seeing that most of the shoes were on top of the display shelves and not easy for my mom to view, I tootled through the aisles looking for different shoes that would possibly work and fit with her brace then bring them to her to try. Now trying on shoes can be exhausting but add having to prep the shoe to receive the AFO brace then placing it on a deficit foot … we’re talking marathon here for both of us! I could do all the prep work but I totally had to step back and allow my mom to see if she would be able to get the shoe on her foot without my help (seeing as how she doesn’t normally have anyone around to help her! … and she’s pretty stubborn about being as independent as possible – a good trait at times!) At times it was so hard for me to just step back and watch. I so wished I could step in and help but my help would only possibly hurt her physically (if I tried to bend the brace or flex her leg or foot in the wrong direction) OR possibly give her a false belief that the shoe would meet her need in her being able to get it on but with my assistance thus wasting money that she is steward over by ending up with something that won’t work for where she is at physically. Wow talk about a download of God’s heart to mine! He so wants to help us as the Father that He is. However He, having created us, knows that He has to step back and allow us to make our choices and walk through the consequences so we can learn. He gave us guidance and step-by-step, hands-on directions by sending His son, Jesus, to earth to walk every aspect of life that we might ever encounter. He even called forth others to document it for us so we would always have access to the “How To Manual” (Bible) and can access it whenever we choose to. Some like to read the instructions first … others like to wait and try it themselves and only when in a bind access the manual for help in getting out of the mess. When we are struggling or just living our day to day life, He is always watching over us as the proud parent that He is and giving us little boosts of help when we allow Him too and it will not hinder us and our growth. No matter our struggles, He is always there with us looking at us with eyes of pride and a heart full of love, proud of even the baby steps that we are taking. He doesn’t ever look at us with malice or contempt. He’s always cheering for us and whispering little helps to us or sending help if we are open to seeing, hearing and receiving it. Wow … His love is so deep and His feelings even deeper for us.



And the laughs continue … My mom, being weary from the outing, was ever so patient and open to giggling with me when invariably, I would pull the right shoe out and prep it. I even put her AFO in one of them getting ready for her to try it out! If you haven’t guessed by now … my mom’s AFO goes on her LEFT foot! We tried the AFO in well over 20 different shoes and I’m not sure if I should be proud or not, but I can say I’m consistent … I truly pulled and prepped the right shoe in every one of them! Tee Hee … I still giggle about it as we did through the remainder of our visit. Enter yet another LIFE LESSON: Sometimes we are so focused on what we are doing that we continue to approach it in a way that doesn’t meet the purpose (i.e. prepping the shoe was necessary however prepping the right shoe was a waste of my time and energy since the final outcome depended on the left shoe). However God is always patient with us and brings good or victory out of all that we do. I caused more work for myself however God allowed my mom to get physical rest while I was exerting my energy in a way one could deem as useless. (I tried to tell mom I was only doing this to give her more time to rest between all the exertion of trying on yet another shoe … she didn’t buy it though!) Through this He showed me that, sometimes we run around in busyness doing good deeds and consistently going through a long process to reach the necessary means. However, we could be less busy (not prepping the “right shoe”) and take more time to just sit and rest in Him in between just prepping and trying on the needed “left shoe”. It’s untruth that we must always be busy. Jesus, while He was on this earth, set the example over and over that we need to be still, rest & commune with God. Be less busy. Oh how much more happier and energetic we would all be if we would ask Him to show us ways that we are making excess “busy” in our lives and turn that time in to rest time, time to enjoy all the He gives us. I pray this for each one of us. Less Busy = More time with Him + more energy + more Joy + more time with our #1 mission field + more accomplished for His Kingdom.



The final insight I’ll share for today, however not of this shopping trip … we went with the mindset of looking for tennis shoes as that is what Mom has pretty much always used. The therapist who fitted the AFO to mom after her stroke fitted it to a tennis shoe and so the pattern continued for years even though an inner desire of my mom’s heart was for something different, a change, a chance to dress up or appear a bit more fashionable. Thus we started our shopping trip out in the same path or rut that was started years ago, looking for tennis shoes that would work and being willing to settle on something that fit even if she didn’t like the looks. Praise God I was listening to Him. I started to look outside the box (no pun intended but hey it works with shoes!). I refused to force my mom to stay in the rut and only get what worked but didn’t bring joy to her. She is too special and unique for that! After many tennis shoe preppings, yucks and ughs not to mention the eye rolling … I started introducing other types of shoes I could find that might possibly work. We encountered many duds (thus many laughs – it is what you make it!) that just wouldn’t allow her to get her foot in. However … by really stepping out of the box and all that the world has brain washed us so easily with … we finally found a pair of penny loafers that worked with the AFO and were fun, fashionable, and serviceable for my mom. Needless to say, they were nowhere near the original rut we started in (women’s tennis shoes). No, God took us on a totally different path that without being open to Him we would not have even considered. The penny loafers were not women’s (as they weren’t cut properly to fit the AFO) but men’s which were a better fit with what we were working with. PONDER Point: So what “rut” are you stuck in? What area are you still operating in because that is what you first were introduced to? Are you willing to allow God to help pull you out of your “rut” and take you to a new level? To assist you in finding a new path that is a better fit to whom and what He created you to be? That makes your heart race or swell up with excitement? That puts a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and joy in your spirit? That gets you excited to get out of bed each day! That gets you excited to see what the day is to bring? It could be in your life ministry, schooling, your diet, the way you study His word, how you relate / love your family, how you relate to other people … the list and possibilities are limitless … our God is bigger than we can even comprehend and wants - as the ultimate great parent – to love on us so much and give us even more. So … are you going to settle for the “rut” OR step outside of the box and look to see what exciting path awaits your journey’s footsteps? Doesn’t mean it will always be easy but it will be more exciting, joyful and fulfilling personally and Kingdom wise.



We love to hear from you! Thanks for all of you who are partnering with us in so many different and creative ways! Your encouragement and partnership allows us to work together as a team to further His Kingdom. We so love and enjoy looking at all the amazingly creative ways He works in and through us as a team “outside the box”.


Blessings and Love!


Created to Serve in His Love,

Michelle, Randy, Josiah & Malachi Wendt
MyFathersBlessing@gmail.com